And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
