chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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