Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
