And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
