two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
