i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Someone signed my nipple.
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