What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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