did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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