I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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