he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
there is glitter all over my balls
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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