not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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