I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
