But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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