508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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