Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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