this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
