I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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