Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
