i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
