this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize