All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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