There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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