I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I love having hate sex.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
