oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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