The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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