U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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