Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Randomize
