We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
