Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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