my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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