He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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