it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
