She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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