NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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