I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
