got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
