It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
