well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize