You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We have so much sex to catch up on
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
