My friends, they love my intelligence
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
