I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
