actually, I'm a sock model
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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