What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
