I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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