We won't sleep together?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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