Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
