We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
