I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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