Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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