I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
