I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize