NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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