Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
