I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
