question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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