I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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