I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
