I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
