yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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