well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
