turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
