his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
