Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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