ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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