There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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