Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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